Usually, I really enjoy creating posts for new Color Street products. So I was a little confused this week by my hesitation to post about the newest benefit strip, Loving Kindness, that raises funds for the National Alliance for Eating Disorders. I kept waiting for a “really great idea” to strike that would grab attention and “scroll stop.” Then I realized, it wasn’t about a great idea or scroll-stopper image.

You see, we are still raw. My daughter is only recently in recovery from her eating disorder, and while I am incredibly proud of her accomplishment I am also:

1. A little superstitious about it, and 
2. Having lots of strong feelings about what contributes to EDs.

https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/

For us, it’s personal. Eating disorders are a biological illness that happens in the brain, but the way it manifests involves the whole family. While she did the heavy lifting, we all had to work through it as well. The pain of having a child on self-destruct mode is indescribable, and my lack of control over what was happening in her brain was brutal. No advice can completely prevent an eating disorder, but there is wisdom I wish I had possessed from my girls’ births.  If I could tell every new parent what I wish I had known, it would go something like this…

1. All food is good. Full STOP. Every food is able to nourish a human body – even candy, chips and “junk.” In fact, stop calling it junk. Our bodies require sugars and fats to function properly, and when you have to re-feed a child who is starving your attitude about these foods changes fast. I quickly became best friends with heavy whipping cream, something I never imagined using in daily meals. Her neurons desperately needed the animal-based fats in order to remyelinate and start thinking logically again. (Myelin is the fat-based “insulation” for our nervous system; it keeps neural signals moving quickly and accurately.)
2. Eliminate language of dieting from your daily life. Don’t call foods bad for you, or say things like “I was so bad this week” in reference to your meals. Once you start looking for it, you will be astounded at how pervasive this type of talk is.
3. Likewise, don’t use foods as rewards. Food is a basic human need. Think about it – you wouldn’t use your child’s sleep this way, for good grades or potty training, so don’t do it with food either. Can you imagine? “Yay! You went in the potty! Let’s go take a nap!” Or the converse, “Your grades really fell this week…you only get 6 hours to sleep tonight.” Yikes! Yet we do this with food ALL THE TIME. From restricting desserts to rewarding with ice cream, food is weighed down with emotional baggage from the time our children are babies. It starts early – ever have a relative say you were spoiling your baby by feeding it on demand? I did.
4. Even if you try your best to keep healthy, realistic attitudes toward food, your child can still develop an eating disorder. Research indicates that in about 60% of cases, there is a familial genetic factor. So if you had an eating disorder, your kids are more likely to have one than someone who never had one themselves. Don’t waste time on blame, or on people who imply that you are at fault. 
5. If your child does develop signs of an eating disorder, treat it as the life-threatening illness it is. Ten percent of individuals with eating disorders will die from them. Don’t tell yourself, “she hasn’t lost much weight,” or “he’s only thrown up a couple of times.” By minimizing these symptoms, you delay life-saving treatment and put your child at greater risk of death. 

Once the amazing ladies from the Alliance parent support group got MY thinking straight, I told my daughter “Life stops until you are well.” She knew that a driver’s license and college were off the table until she could reliably take good care of her body by herself. Those turned out to be huge motivators for her, and by the third year of the illness she was eating for pleasure again and maintaining a healthy body without having to plan meals. She didn’t get her driver’s license until she was a senior in high school, but boy did we celebrate when she did! 

Color Street’s support of this organization is incredibly meaningful to me. If you’ve hung with me through this blog, I hope you understand and will support the Alliance now and in the future. 

Contact the Alliance for Eating Disorders for more information. https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/